When We Act Like Children

I was able to get permission to release one more post to you all and I will also leave one previous story up here as well until the book is released, which it looks like it will be sometime around this summer. Enjoy.

December was an odd month. From the first day of the month to ending it on New Years, I was surprised at how positive it was and how it was filled with all the random encounters of people. From the first day with the Hawaiin banana (a story not yet told to you all) to the last day meeting a nice girl Taylor at the concert (who was able to give her incredible drawing of John Mayer to John Mayer), something was definitely in the air. The last few days of the year, I spent holed up in my house writing and working. Usually, I am all about relaxing and milking that for all it’s worth, but I couldn’t get all of these encounters and stories out of my mind. My brain was on creative overload. So, with all that time, I did what every normal human being does, I whipped out my phone and spent way too much time on social media.

Earlier this fall, I hired a social media team to do my social media for me so I wouldn’t have the pressure of spending countless hours on Instagram, or feeling the need of validation from random strangers. It felt so good to be away from social media. I felt clean. My mind felt healthier. FOMO (fear of missing out) didn’t exist and I could actually focus on what was in front of me. But then after Vegas, I noticed that jealousy stared creeping in, and I started acting like a teenager. The thing with social media is, someone can look like they’re having so much fun, but in all reality, they’re not. Hell- even I could be at some amazing rooftop concert, and I could’ve just been crying in the bathroom over a boy. Social media is the ultimate false persona. I’m writing a book about being real and being authentic, and I do truly try and stick to that in my day-day life (and even what I post to everyone on social media) but even sometimes I fall victim to the game playing. I don’t like who I become when I do that and therefore I don’t want to play that type of game.

Now, yes I know I need social media for work, and film and for my book, but I want to use it in a positive light. I don’t want to act like a child when doing it. And I started to notice that’s what I was doing…and we can normally guess why one acts like a child and it tends to be over games that boys and girls play. I wish these games were like hopscotch or freeze tag, but sadly, these are not as innocent. I kept repeating in my head “Lauren you’re better than this. Knock it off.” And I am better than this social media bs. We all know when it comes down to it that if anyone is legitimately interested in you, they will make the effort and they will show you. It comes back to that good ol’ saying “Actions speak louder than words…and memes” They will actually pick up their phone and call you (I guess text counts in this generation too). They will act like an adult, not send some social media mixed messages crap. I am guilty as charged for doing it, as we all are and all have. In my eyes, social media is a devil’s advocate. It’s a catch 22. It’s the necessary evil. We have to have it, we just need to learn how to use it better.

Don’t drink and scroll. You’ll only end up getting jealous, doing something you regret, or hurting yourself. It’s just not worth it. So this January (and year) I’m looking forward to some more positive scenarios like December brought, that thankfully had nothing to do with social media. Remember what’s important y’all. Enjoy the new year!

Publishing & Movie

Hello All!

As some of you may have heard, “Independently Committed” is getting published and is going to be made into a movie! I am very excited! . As of now, I have removed the stories and am not sure what I can and can’t share, but will keep you posted on all the updates as they come in!

For any inquiries please email independentlycommitted@gmail.com

Thank you for the continued support and here we go on another adventure….


Rita Right Eye & the Rolling Backpack

When I was a kid, my babysitter called me Rita Right Eye.

I was born with eye issues. Ever since I could see the light of day, I wore glasses. No joke, I wore glasses from the time I was 18 months old until I was about 13.

I had a lazy eye. And for a few years when I was in elementary school I wore an eye patch. While it made for a fun time at Halloween parties the other 364 days out of the year were a different story. In the 4th grade, when we were figuring out if boys had cooties or not, and other girls were in training to be the next Regina George (we all remember Mean Girls, right?), being the girl with the eye patch was just…not…cool.

My mom tried to make it fun. She bought me glasses of all different colors. Green, blue, hot pink. I even had multi-colored glasses.

When it came time to get the dreaded patch my mom got me the rainbow patch, the star patch, and even the unicorn patch. And while I appreciated her efforts, no patch would ever prevent the emotional damage or the amounts of money I would spend on therapy years later. At least now, I can laugh about this whole thing, and hopefully make you laugh.

My babysitter, let’s call him BB, and he was a guy. I know to some of you a male babysitter might be weird, but we knew the family well. His family is wonderful. Anyway he and I lived a street a part in the same neighborhood. We carpooled until he was old enough to drive me to school. So BB and I would play “diner” after school. Since I was a theater geek and aspired to be an actress one day (look at me now) when we played, I would usually come up with the “production”. I guess there was some foreshadowing going on there.

So BB at the diner called me Rita the waitress every time he came in to “dine” at my basement playhouse diner. In Georgia, most houses have basements where many kids reenact the greatest sword fights ever fought or the best performance of somewhere over the rainbow. I chose to be in a diner. I guess I like the simple things? I hated when BB would shout out ‘Rita right eye’ as I rolled my cool rolling backpack around the school grounds with my friends with their regular backpacks. I wore the patch on my right eye- hence “Rita right eye”. See how creative he was?

”Hey Rita, why don’t you roll that backpack out to Hollywood!” BB would shout! Rita right eye was not going to work in Hollywood.

I needed a better stage name than Rita. Rita was old, lame and it definitely was NOT going to get me to stardom (no offense, Rita Heyworth, you were super hot in your day). Neither was the patch. I needed to remedy my situation. If my eyes weren’t going to fix themselves, I would get lasik. If that didn’t work, I’d track down a fucking witch to fix me with black magic. Whatever it took. I had goals. I had a plan.

Fortunately, eventually, I stopped having to wear the patch. I transitioned from glasses and braces, to just braces. It was a rough few years.

My peak years were in college, I swear. And then I think I’m peaking now too, but who can say? I’m floundering at flirting, so there’s that. Anyway, I left the 90’s and all the emotional scaring behind… so I thought. It wasn’t until a tinder date in 2015 that the memories of Rita would get thrown right back in my face.

The guy was 22. Y’all can’t be surprised at this. [Fabio was 21. I’m screwing a lot of young ones…it’s a pattern] I was 28 at the time. It was my phase ok? He was a security guard. He was hot, ok? In shape too. Maybe not the smartest. But nice to look at.

My neighbors were having a bbq one evening and I thought I’d invite him. I figured if everything went well then we could just walk across the street to my house and “get down” and then he could go on his way. He accepted the bbq invite and I headed over next door. The doorbell rings and my friend answers. I’m in the living room area and I can see that he has arrived.

He walks in with rolling backpack. I kid you not. Just like Rita Right Eye had all those years ago. Henceforth, we will call him ‘Roly.’

I greet him and my friend motions for him to put his stuff by the door. More like park it by the door. Did this guy just bring a rolling backpack to a bbq? I had so many thoughts running through my mind. Did he think he was staying the week? Was he assuming we were having sex? Did he assume he was staying over? Was he homeless? I mean the list is just endless. My friend and I gave each other looks that seemed to say, ‘this is weird to you too, right?.’

Anyway, everything is going fine. Roly is pleasant. He’s sober – which doesn’t scare me. Might scare some people, but not me. I’ve dated a couple of sober people and honestly the sex can be better when there’s no Whiskey dick involved.

As the night came to a close and I thought ‘fuck it’ and figured I might as well take advantage of this erect dick situation (because you don’t know when drunk dick might appear).

So Roly rolls his rolling backpack across the street to my house and we get it on. Is it just me or do I sound like a pornographic Dr. Seuss?

He was fine. Not as good as Fabio, but maybe that’s because I had emotional damage from seeing a rolling backpack.

Roly woke up to his alarm at 5:30 in the morning (FML). He asked if I had any cereal. I, who don’t eat breakfast often, oddly happen to have some cornflakes and milk (probably in hopes that Kansas would sleep over- but that’s a story for another time). He then sat there at the kitchen table with me eating cornflakes at 5:30 in the morning (Hot, right?). He then packed up his rolling backpack, said he’d call me, and rolled out of my house. I never saw him again.

I don’t know where Roly rolled that thing to next, but I heard that he was a man about town. A few of my acquaintances said they matched with Roly on tinder. None of them however, wound up going out with him, or having the backpack experience (Guess I’m special?).  Little did I know, that Rita Right Eye, two years later, would be rolling her “backpacks” to Los Angeles. Even though having been in the business, I guess Babysitter knew all along that I had my sights set on LA….

(Me with glasses. I’ll find one soon of the patch) FullSizeRender-4